[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
Samantha and her family have extensive experience with EFT, using
it all the time for issues that come up.
Mom: Samantha, you seem so frightened of thunderstorms lately. Do
you want to tell me about it?
Samantha: No.
Mom: Oh. How about we play a game? Would you like that?
Samantha: Okay.
Mom: Let s play the story game. I will start a story and you finish it!
Samantha: Okay.
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Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
Mom: Let s use Peter the Rabbit as the main person in the story. Is
that okay with you.
Samantha: Sure!
(Note: Depending on how savvy your kid is, you may need to do a
pretend story first before you jump right into Tearless Trauma. In an
effort to keep this book a readable length, I will skip the pretend
story!)
Mom: Okay! Once upon a time there was a little bunny rabbit named
Peter. He lived in the forest with his mother, father and baby brother
named Stephen. One evening, Peter s mother and father decided that
they would like to go to the Carrot Café and spend some time
together. So they asked Jordan Lightfoot to come baby-sit Peter and
Stephan.
How do you think Peter felt about his Mom and Dad going out and
leaving him and his baby brother alone with a babysitter?
Samantha: Sad. Peter hates it when his parents go out.
Mom: Shall we tap with Peter so he won t feel so sad?
Samantha: Okay.
Mom: You tap on Peter and I will tap with you. I think that the more
people tap together, the easier it is for someone to feel better. (A great
way to sneak in some surrogate tapping!) Even though I am sad when
Mom and Dad go out, I am still a great kid! (Tap a full round of EFT)
Is Peter s sadness gone?
Samantha: Yes.
Mom: Great! How do you feel when Daddy and I go out, like we did
the other night when it thunder stormed?
81
Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
Samantha: I was sad, and mad, too!
Mom: Oh. Do you think that Peter is mad, too?
Samantha: Yes, he feels left out.
Mom: Okay. Let s tap for Peter and his madness. Even though I feel
mad and left our when Mom and Dad go out, I am still a great kid!
(tap a full round of EFT)
Does Peter feel better now?
Samantha: Yes.
Mom: Great! So, Peter s Mom and Dad left the house. Peter and
Stephan were all alone with Jordan.
Samantha: Wait, Mom, Peter hates it when his Mom and Dad drive
down the driveway and the house is kind of quiet without his Mom
and Dad.
Mom: Oh, so the house is quiet when Mom and Dad leave? Okay,
let s tap. Even though I hate it when Mom and Dad drive away and
the house is quiet, I am a great kid! (tap a full round of EFT)
That s better, isn t it?
So Peter s Mom and Dad drove away and left Peter and Stephen in the
quiet house with the babysitter. (Note: This is Mom s way of
assessing Samantha s emotional intensity related to her parents
leaving to go out. Samantha made no comments so Mom continued.)
Very soon the sky began to get dark, the wind began to blow and
Peter could here thunder coming closer and closer. Does Peter like
thunderstorms?
Samantha: No. He was scared when the sky got dark because Peter is
afraid of the dark.
82
Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
Samantha and her Mom tapped on several aspects related to the storm
including:
Even though I am afraid of the dark&
Even though I was scared of the loud wind chimes on the back
porch&
Even though I though the wind would blow the trees over&
Even though the thunder was loud&
Even though the thunder was scary&
Even though I hated the way the thunder made my bones jump&
When Peter, Samantha and Mom had cleared these aspects, Mom
continued her story.
Mom: So Jordan tucked Peter into his bed. It was very dark and the
storm was still strong outside. But Peter wasn t scared anymore. He
had used EFT. Is there anything else that is scaring Peter?
Samantha: (quietly) Yes. Peter is afraid his Mom and Dad might not
ever make it home.
Mom: Okay, Even though I m scared my Mom and Dad might not
make it home, I am a great kid. Anything else?
(By this time Samantha was smiling.)
Samantha: But they did make it home, Mom. Just like you and
Daddy did!
Mom: That s right. This is a good end to our story!
After this session, Samantha was able to enjoy thunderstorms. Every
once and a while, she would be afraid of really loud thunder but she
83
Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
would tap and make it go away. She even tapped for her dog, Shepp,
who always hid under her bed during a storm.
This technique works well for younger children. For older children,
simply have them tell you their story about the traumatic
experience. Have them stop and tap any time their emotional intensity
goes up. Tap until they are completely clear and then go on to the rest
of the story until the trauma has no emotional energy remaining.
You can also use this technique for yourself on any traumatic events
or memories that you may have!
EFT and Grief
We all experience grief at one time or another in our lives. Grief can
happen any time you experience a life changing event or any time you
lose someone or something important and valuable to you.
Traditionally, therapists have defined grief as occurring in five stages:
Denial not being able to accept that the event is real
Anger being angry with the person or thing that is gone or the
people responsible for the life change (like your parents when you are
forced to move during your junior year in high school)
Bargaining attempting to make a deal with God or anyone who may
be able to change the outcome of the event
Depression experiencing the sadness of the loss
Acceptance accepting the reality of the loss, adjusting to a different
life and creating a new life
These five stages do not have to go in order. It is common for people
to go back and forth between these stages until the loss is truly
accepted. It is also possible to experience the different stages
simultaneously.
Children go through these same stages just as adults do. And, even
though kids are well known for their resiliency, they can sometimes
84
Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
suffer for a long time with unresolved grief. I have seen many
children who sometimes take up to two years to recover from a
traumatic move to a new city.
Of course, it is natural to be sad over a loss. And EFT can help make
the journey through the grieving process easier and faster. With EFT
is becomes easier to adjust to the loss and faster to embrace the
blessings and the gifts in the change.
Kids are going to express the stages of grief in different ways. When
in the stage of denial, some children may retreat into a fantasy world.
Older kids may hide out in their room and refuse to participate in any [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl chiara76.opx.pl
Samantha and her family have extensive experience with EFT, using
it all the time for issues that come up.
Mom: Samantha, you seem so frightened of thunderstorms lately. Do
you want to tell me about it?
Samantha: No.
Mom: Oh. How about we play a game? Would you like that?
Samantha: Okay.
Mom: Let s play the story game. I will start a story and you finish it!
Samantha: Okay.
80
Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
Mom: Let s use Peter the Rabbit as the main person in the story. Is
that okay with you.
Samantha: Sure!
(Note: Depending on how savvy your kid is, you may need to do a
pretend story first before you jump right into Tearless Trauma. In an
effort to keep this book a readable length, I will skip the pretend
story!)
Mom: Okay! Once upon a time there was a little bunny rabbit named
Peter. He lived in the forest with his mother, father and baby brother
named Stephen. One evening, Peter s mother and father decided that
they would like to go to the Carrot Café and spend some time
together. So they asked Jordan Lightfoot to come baby-sit Peter and
Stephan.
How do you think Peter felt about his Mom and Dad going out and
leaving him and his baby brother alone with a babysitter?
Samantha: Sad. Peter hates it when his parents go out.
Mom: Shall we tap with Peter so he won t feel so sad?
Samantha: Okay.
Mom: You tap on Peter and I will tap with you. I think that the more
people tap together, the easier it is for someone to feel better. (A great
way to sneak in some surrogate tapping!) Even though I am sad when
Mom and Dad go out, I am still a great kid! (Tap a full round of EFT)
Is Peter s sadness gone?
Samantha: Yes.
Mom: Great! How do you feel when Daddy and I go out, like we did
the other night when it thunder stormed?
81
Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
Samantha: I was sad, and mad, too!
Mom: Oh. Do you think that Peter is mad, too?
Samantha: Yes, he feels left out.
Mom: Okay. Let s tap for Peter and his madness. Even though I feel
mad and left our when Mom and Dad go out, I am still a great kid!
(tap a full round of EFT)
Does Peter feel better now?
Samantha: Yes.
Mom: Great! So, Peter s Mom and Dad left the house. Peter and
Stephan were all alone with Jordan.
Samantha: Wait, Mom, Peter hates it when his Mom and Dad drive
down the driveway and the house is kind of quiet without his Mom
and Dad.
Mom: Oh, so the house is quiet when Mom and Dad leave? Okay,
let s tap. Even though I hate it when Mom and Dad drive away and
the house is quiet, I am a great kid! (tap a full round of EFT)
That s better, isn t it?
So Peter s Mom and Dad drove away and left Peter and Stephen in the
quiet house with the babysitter. (Note: This is Mom s way of
assessing Samantha s emotional intensity related to her parents
leaving to go out. Samantha made no comments so Mom continued.)
Very soon the sky began to get dark, the wind began to blow and
Peter could here thunder coming closer and closer. Does Peter like
thunderstorms?
Samantha: No. He was scared when the sky got dark because Peter is
afraid of the dark.
82
Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
Samantha and her Mom tapped on several aspects related to the storm
including:
Even though I am afraid of the dark&
Even though I was scared of the loud wind chimes on the back
porch&
Even though I though the wind would blow the trees over&
Even though the thunder was loud&
Even though the thunder was scary&
Even though I hated the way the thunder made my bones jump&
When Peter, Samantha and Mom had cleared these aspects, Mom
continued her story.
Mom: So Jordan tucked Peter into his bed. It was very dark and the
storm was still strong outside. But Peter wasn t scared anymore. He
had used EFT. Is there anything else that is scaring Peter?
Samantha: (quietly) Yes. Peter is afraid his Mom and Dad might not
ever make it home.
Mom: Okay, Even though I m scared my Mom and Dad might not
make it home, I am a great kid. Anything else?
(By this time Samantha was smiling.)
Samantha: But they did make it home, Mom. Just like you and
Daddy did!
Mom: That s right. This is a good end to our story!
After this session, Samantha was able to enjoy thunderstorms. Every
once and a while, she would be afraid of really loud thunder but she
83
Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
would tap and make it go away. She even tapped for her dog, Shepp,
who always hid under her bed during a storm.
This technique works well for younger children. For older children,
simply have them tell you their story about the traumatic
experience. Have them stop and tap any time their emotional intensity
goes up. Tap until they are completely clear and then go on to the rest
of the story until the trauma has no emotional energy remaining.
You can also use this technique for yourself on any traumatic events
or memories that you may have!
EFT and Grief
We all experience grief at one time or another in our lives. Grief can
happen any time you experience a life changing event or any time you
lose someone or something important and valuable to you.
Traditionally, therapists have defined grief as occurring in five stages:
Denial not being able to accept that the event is real
Anger being angry with the person or thing that is gone or the
people responsible for the life change (like your parents when you are
forced to move during your junior year in high school)
Bargaining attempting to make a deal with God or anyone who may
be able to change the outcome of the event
Depression experiencing the sadness of the loss
Acceptance accepting the reality of the loss, adjusting to a different
life and creating a new life
These five stages do not have to go in order. It is common for people
to go back and forth between these stages until the loss is truly
accepted. It is also possible to experience the different stages
simultaneously.
Children go through these same stages just as adults do. And, even
though kids are well known for their resiliency, they can sometimes
84
Joyful Mission Family Coaching ©2002 Karen Curry www.joyfulmission.com
suffer for a long time with unresolved grief. I have seen many
children who sometimes take up to two years to recover from a
traumatic move to a new city.
Of course, it is natural to be sad over a loss. And EFT can help make
the journey through the grieving process easier and faster. With EFT
is becomes easier to adjust to the loss and faster to embrace the
blessings and the gifts in the change.
Kids are going to express the stages of grief in different ways. When
in the stage of denial, some children may retreat into a fantasy world.
Older kids may hide out in their room and refuse to participate in any [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]