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was just a coming-out fling. Then with Dana, then with& Elaine. I swore
I d never have sex again before I d do it with someone I didn t care for.
She blinked, clearly stunned. I wasn t sure which part of my sentence
surprised her so much. There were many options.
 But why?
 I still don t know, I said.  Maybe because you re so pretty. I ran my
fingertips along her cheek and felt her swallow when I touched her neck.
 Maybe it was fate.
 I think it was fate, she said, her expression very serious.  I believe in
fate. I really do. And I don t think we should screw with it. I believe we
can make this work. Please, please let me try. She d taken my hand and
was squeezing it while she stared into my eyes. How could I say no?
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 But I haven t apologized for ignoring you on Monday. That s what
started all of this.
 Forget about it. I don t even wanna know. Sheila found me on
Tuesday morning and told me you didn t come home that night. I ve
been trying to track you down ever since. All that matters is that I ve
found you and that you re all right. She took me in her arms and rocked
me gently.  That s all I care about. She nuzzled against my neck for a
few minutes, and I could feel her tears on my cheek.  I was so worried
about you.
 How did you find me?
 I hired a detective, she said.  I told him you worked at NYU, and I
gave him your cell phone number. He found you in fifteen minutes.
 That s not very long, I said.  Kinda creepy.
 Yeah, it is. I was gonna hire a sky-writer next.
She didn t look like she was kidding. I put my arms around her and
held her for a minute.  We ve got some things to work out, I said.  It s
going to take me a while to trust you not to hurt me again. You frighten
me when you get angry. That s a big deal.
Gina kissed me again, and I could feel the relief pouring from her body
into mine.  I ll change, she promised.  I will change.
)
Gina promised she was awake enough to drive all the way to Sayville.
Amazingly, I was still tired, so after I finished both of our bagels, I lay on
the couch, afraid that the lure of the bed would be my undoing.
After a comparatively short nap and another quick shower, I got
dressed, went through my mail, and went to the train station. Two hours
later, I was in Sayville, waiting at the dock for Gina. We both got on for
the outbound trip, this time with Gina as a passenger since Case was
there, too. We didn t talk much, but she held my hand while looking out
the window. The window was open a little, and her hair was blown
straight back from the breeze.
She had such beautiful, classically Roman features. She could have
been the model for a frieze or a statue three thousand years old. How did
I not guess she was Italian? I ve been looking at women who look so
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Susan X Meagher
similar to her for my entire professional career. Huh. Maybe that s why
she appeals to me so much. It s not just that she s beautiful. Her looks
touch something deep inside me. Some spark of recognition of the
ancients. The kind of beauty that made a man pick up a chisel and
hammer and express his desire through a block of marble. I d sculpt her if
I could. I d show her strength and her courage and her frailty and her
vulnerability. It all comes together to make her who she is.
But that vulnerability is what makes her lash out at me when I do
something that hits her in an unguarded place. We have to figure out a
way to get past that. I don t know how many times I can forgive her for
hurting me, and I m not sure she can stop. But I hope to God she can
because I want to be sitting next to her, holding her hand while I look at
that fantastic face, for a very, very long time.
When we got to the house, we were both feeling ill at ease. She kept
walking to the glass doors, looking out at the ocean. Finally, I went up to
her and pressed my cheek against her back. Gingerly, I put my arms
around her and felt her begin to relax.  Let s go out on the deck, I said.
It was a pretty nice afternoon. The sun was hidden behind a bank of
clouds, as it usually was at that time of day, but it was fairly warm and
dry. I settled myself on the railing after ignoring Gina s raised eyebrow of
warning. She stood in front of me and held me tighter than she needed to.
But it was a very nice way to get comfortable with her again. We didn t
say a word to each other for a very long time; we just held each other.
Unconsciously, our breathing synced up, and we let some of the barriers
fall.
It was almost dusk when she put her hands on my waist and lifted me
from the railing. Without a word, she took my hand and led me to the
fireplace. She opened the flue and lit one of the logs Elaine had purchased
and written her name on. Good for Gina. As soon as she was sure the log
was going to burn, she turned to me and lovingly started to undress me.
Soon her clothes were lying next to mine on the floor. Then she took me
in her arms and started to kiss me with so much feeling I honestly
thought I might faint. Somehow, we wound up on the rug, the dry heat
from the fire warming our feet while the cool, moist air blew in through
the open door.
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She made love to me like a woman possessed. Her hands, her lips, her
mouth seemed to be everywhere at once. I d never known her to be so [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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