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whisked into the egg. 'And then strawberries and cream.'
'Gorgeous!' Belinda said, rather wanly picking up her fork. She
tasted the eggs while Jess watched, and knew she had to display
enthusiasm or hurt Jess's feelings. 'Mmm. They melt in the mouth!'
she said.
Jess looked satisfied, and turned to go. 'I'll be back for the tray and
to turn out your light in a little while.'
'I'm not five years old!' Belinda protested.
'You just act like it?'
Belinda pretended to be amused, which wasn't easy. Smiling, Jess
went and Belinda ate her meal without any real appetite, then put the
tray down on the floor and settled back in bed. Who had she been
expecting when Jess arrived? she irritably asked herself. Not
Vincent. She didn't want to see Vincent, and yet she had felt her
heart miss a beat when the door opened, felt stupid disappointment
as she saw it was Jess.
Surely she wasn't beginning to  ? She shut off that thought,
horrified. No! She wasn't in any way attracted to Vincent Garrett;
she disliked him intensely. It was just that emotions were confusing;
it was sometimes hard to disentangle the threads of them, buried
deep inside yourself.
Strange how little she now felt about Ricky, for instance. Ever since
she had recovered consciousness she had believed she was aching to
see him again. She had woken up that first day as deeply in love as
she had been on the day of the crash, and she wasn't quite sure when
her feelings had changed. Certainly not when Vincent had told her
Ricky had abandoned her and married Meg. A little frown creased
her forehead as she remembered what Ricky had blurted out. She
had recovered consciousness on the day he married Meg! Wasn't
that strange? It couldn't be a coincidence, surely? How had she
known, though? Had she heard people talking, even though she was
unconscious? How else could she have picked up the fact that Ricky
was marrying someone else? The nurses must have gossiped about
the wedding, it would only have been natural. It was odd, though.
Well, however it had happened, it had brought about the miracle she
needed it had brought her back to life.
She had been bitterly unhappy when Vincent had told her about the
wedding and for a long time after that yet now it no longer
mattered. The change in her feelings had been subterranean and very
gradual, but she faced the fact now. She no longer loved Ricky.
She didn't blame him for what had happened, either. Ricky hadn't
caused the crash; he had been weak, he had run out on her when she
needed him, but he couldn't help his own nature, and she could see
now that she would never have been happy with him. Her love for
him had been an illusion. Now that she saw him more clearly she
felt an affectionate tolerance for him. Now that she no longer loved
Ricky she could like him.
She liked Meg, too. She had liked her on sight just as she had
disliked Magdalen that fast. She grimaced ruefully, recognising her
own instant reactions as a dangerous risk. Wasn't that how she had
convinced herself she was madly in love with Ricky? One look and
she was telling herself she was in love. How stupid could you get?
A wry smile lit her face, as she remembered Ricky's expression
when he had first seen her coming towards him. He had been so
shaken. For a second she had been overcome to see him; for a
second her emotions had been unbearable, and she could understand
how he had felt, because she had been expecting to see him. Ricky
hadn't expected to see her and his shock had been visible. But it
hadn't- been love in his face. Ricky had felt relief and delight,
because she had recovered, mingled with shame and guilt over his
own behaviour; a complex cock toil of emotions for someone like
Ricky, who liked his life smooth and easy.
Belinda yawned. Seeing Ricky had completed the process of
recovery in some way. She was certain now that she no longer loved
him, she felt free of him, of the past. Her last conscious thought was
that tomorrow was Monday; and tomorrow she would ring her
mother and then book her flight to New Zealand.
When she got up the next day she found that Vincent had gone to
London, to his office. Jess kept her busy that morning, with massage
and exercise. Belinda's muscles still ached from the exertions of her
Sunday out, so after a light lunch Jes,s sent her up to bed to have an
hour's rest. When she got up again, they walked around the garden,
talking.
'You've known Vincent for a long time?' Belinda asked casually,
and Jess laughed.
'Oh, all his life. I was at school with his mother, and when she got
married I was one of her bridesmaids. We're still friends. She often
calls to see me.'
'Then you must have known all about me before I came here?'
Belinda looked directly at her and Jess smiled, her face unworried.
'Of course. Dorothy often confides her problems to me.'
'And I was one of them?' grimaced Belinda, and Jess laughed, then,
looking at her affectionately.
'I'm afraid so. She was very angry with you. If we're going to be
honest, I'd better admit that I didn't like what I'd heard about you,
either.'
Belinda couldn't help laughing too, at the cheerful way Jess said
that, although at the same time she was hurt. Jess took her hand and
squeezed it.
'But I hadn't met you, then. I knew Meg, I've known her for a long
time and I'm very fond of her. Both Dorothy and I were certain Meg
was the right girl for Ricky, and we thought you had stolen him. We
thought you had to be a scheming, ambitious gold-digger.' Jess
squeezed her hand again, swinging it between them as they walked.
'Remember, I hadn't met you then!'
'And now you have, and you know you were right!' mocked
Belinda, to cover her hurt feelings.
'Now I have and I know I was wrong and I'm very sorry you've
had such a rough time,' Jess said gently, and Belinda fell silent,
touched.
'I think you've walked far enough today, after all that racketing
around you did yesterday!' Jess said a moment later. 'Time for tea, I
think.'
They turned back towards the house just as Vincent's car swung
through the gates and drove towards them. Jess halted, waving, and
he pulled up a few feet away, got out of the car and joined them,
giving Belinda a quick, all-seeing glance that read her cold
expression and taut body.
'Enjoying yourselves, I see,' he drawled.
'We've had a walk and now we're just going to have tea. Shall I
bring a cup for you, Vincent?' Jess opened the front door and made
for the kitchen, pausing to look back over her shoulder as he
answered.
'Please, I'm dying for some tea.'
Belinda walked into the sitting-room and sat down, her eyes fixed
on the window through which she could see the garden she had just
left.
Vincent followed her and sat down in another chair, unbuttoning the
jacket of his dark grey city suit and crossing-his long legs, his body
relaxing into a casual, lounging attitude. She felt him observing her,
but ignored him, watching the way the trees in the garden blew
softly in a summer breeze. There were a few clouds in the blue sky,
too. Maybe the weather was changing?
'My parents are coming to dinner tomorrow night,' he murmured,
and she looked at him then, her green eyes wide and startled. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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