[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
gaze. There was nothing there. The old loft was nearly empty. Where once mounds of
hay must have lain, now only dust motes floated. The hay for the horses was stored below
in empty stalls.
But still he stared at the loft. This was my brother s favorite place, he said finally.
Samuel, my younger brother. He was nine years old, born six years after me. It was
enough of a gap that I did not pay him much attention. He was a quiet boy. He used to
hide in the loft, even though it gave Mother fits; she was afraid he d fall and kill himself.
It didn t stop him. He d spend half the day up there, playing, I don t know, with tin
soldiers or tops or something. It was easy to forget he was up there, and sometimes he d
throw hay down on my head just to aggravate me. His brows drew together. Or, I
suppose, he wanted his elder brother s attention. Not that I gave it to him. I was too busy
at fifteen, learning to shoot and drink and be a man, to pay attention to a child.
He walked a few paces away, still studying the loft. Anna tried to swallow down the lump
in her throat. Why now? Why reveal all this pain to her now, when it couldn t matter?
He continued, It s funny, though. When I first came back, I kept expecting to see him
here in the stables. I d walk in and look up for his face, I guess. Edward blinked and
murmured, almost to himself, Sometimes I still do.
Anna shoved her knuckle into her mouth and bit down. She didn t want to hear this.
Didn t want to feel any sympathy for this man.
This stable was full before, he said. My father loved horses, used to breed them. There
were lots of grooms and my father s cronies hanging around out here, talking horseflesh
and hunting. My mother was in the Abbey, holding parties and planning my sister s
coming-out. This place was so busy. So happy. It was the best place in the world.
Edward touched the worn door of an empty stall with his fingertips. I never thought I
would leave. I never wanted to.
Anna hugged herself and bit back a sob.
But then the smallpox came. He seemed to stare into space, and the lines in his face
stood out in sharp relief. And they died, one by one. First Sammy, then Father and
Mother. Elizabeth, my sister, was the last to go. They cut off her hair because of the fever,
and she cried and cried inconsolably; she thought it her best feature. Two days later, they
put her into the family vault. We were lucky, I guess, if you can call it luck. Other
families had to wait for spring to bury their dead. It was winter and the ground was
frozen.
He drew a breath. But I don t remember that last, only what they told me later, because
by then I had it, too.
He stroked a finger over his cheekbone where the smallpox scars clustered, and Anna
wondered how often he had made the gesture in the years since.
And, of course, I survived. He looked at her with the bitterest smile she d ever seen, as
if he tasted bile on his tongue. I alone lived. Out of all of them, I survived.
He closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, his face was smoothed into a blank, firm mask. I m the last
of my line, the last of the de Raafs, he said. There are no distant cousins to inherit the
title and the Abbey, no waiting obscure heirs. When I die if I die without a son it all
reverts to the crown.
Anna forced herself to hold his gaze, though it left her trembling.
I must have an heir. Do you understand? He grit his teeth and said, as if he were pulling
the words, bloody and torn, from his very heart, I must marry a woman who can bear
children.
Chapter Fourteen
Who was her lover? Aurea s sisters inquired, their brows creased with false concern.
Why had she never seen him in the light of day? And having never seen him, how could
she be sure he was human at all? Perhaps a monster too horrible to be exposed to
daylight shared her bed. Perhaps this monster would get her heavy with his child, and
she would bear something too awful to imagine. The longer Aurea listened to her sisters,
the more disquieted she became until she knew not what to think or do.
It was then that the sisters suggested a plan. . . .
from The Raven Prince
For the rest of that day, Anna simply endured. She made herself sit at the rosewood desk
in the Abbey library. She made herself dip her quill in the ink without spilling a drop. She
made herself copy out a page of Edward s manuscript. When she finished that first page,
she made herself do it again. And again. And yet again.
That was the job of a secretary, after all.
Long ago, when Peter had first proposed to her, she d thought about children. She d
wondered whether their children would have red or brown hair, and she d daydreamed
possible names. When they d married and moved into the tiny cottage, she d worried if
there would be enough room for a family.
She had never worried about not having children.
The second year of the marriage, Anna had begun to watch her monthly flow. The third [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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gaze. There was nothing there. The old loft was nearly empty. Where once mounds of
hay must have lain, now only dust motes floated. The hay for the horses was stored below
in empty stalls.
But still he stared at the loft. This was my brother s favorite place, he said finally.
Samuel, my younger brother. He was nine years old, born six years after me. It was
enough of a gap that I did not pay him much attention. He was a quiet boy. He used to
hide in the loft, even though it gave Mother fits; she was afraid he d fall and kill himself.
It didn t stop him. He d spend half the day up there, playing, I don t know, with tin
soldiers or tops or something. It was easy to forget he was up there, and sometimes he d
throw hay down on my head just to aggravate me. His brows drew together. Or, I
suppose, he wanted his elder brother s attention. Not that I gave it to him. I was too busy
at fifteen, learning to shoot and drink and be a man, to pay attention to a child.
He walked a few paces away, still studying the loft. Anna tried to swallow down the lump
in her throat. Why now? Why reveal all this pain to her now, when it couldn t matter?
He continued, It s funny, though. When I first came back, I kept expecting to see him
here in the stables. I d walk in and look up for his face, I guess. Edward blinked and
murmured, almost to himself, Sometimes I still do.
Anna shoved her knuckle into her mouth and bit down. She didn t want to hear this.
Didn t want to feel any sympathy for this man.
This stable was full before, he said. My father loved horses, used to breed them. There
were lots of grooms and my father s cronies hanging around out here, talking horseflesh
and hunting. My mother was in the Abbey, holding parties and planning my sister s
coming-out. This place was so busy. So happy. It was the best place in the world.
Edward touched the worn door of an empty stall with his fingertips. I never thought I
would leave. I never wanted to.
Anna hugged herself and bit back a sob.
But then the smallpox came. He seemed to stare into space, and the lines in his face
stood out in sharp relief. And they died, one by one. First Sammy, then Father and
Mother. Elizabeth, my sister, was the last to go. They cut off her hair because of the fever,
and she cried and cried inconsolably; she thought it her best feature. Two days later, they
put her into the family vault. We were lucky, I guess, if you can call it luck. Other
families had to wait for spring to bury their dead. It was winter and the ground was
frozen.
He drew a breath. But I don t remember that last, only what they told me later, because
by then I had it, too.
He stroked a finger over his cheekbone where the smallpox scars clustered, and Anna
wondered how often he had made the gesture in the years since.
And, of course, I survived. He looked at her with the bitterest smile she d ever seen, as
if he tasted bile on his tongue. I alone lived. Out of all of them, I survived.
He closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, his face was smoothed into a blank, firm mask. I m the last
of my line, the last of the de Raafs, he said. There are no distant cousins to inherit the
title and the Abbey, no waiting obscure heirs. When I die if I die without a son it all
reverts to the crown.
Anna forced herself to hold his gaze, though it left her trembling.
I must have an heir. Do you understand? He grit his teeth and said, as if he were pulling
the words, bloody and torn, from his very heart, I must marry a woman who can bear
children.
Chapter Fourteen
Who was her lover? Aurea s sisters inquired, their brows creased with false concern.
Why had she never seen him in the light of day? And having never seen him, how could
she be sure he was human at all? Perhaps a monster too horrible to be exposed to
daylight shared her bed. Perhaps this monster would get her heavy with his child, and
she would bear something too awful to imagine. The longer Aurea listened to her sisters,
the more disquieted she became until she knew not what to think or do.
It was then that the sisters suggested a plan. . . .
from The Raven Prince
For the rest of that day, Anna simply endured. She made herself sit at the rosewood desk
in the Abbey library. She made herself dip her quill in the ink without spilling a drop. She
made herself copy out a page of Edward s manuscript. When she finished that first page,
she made herself do it again. And again. And yet again.
That was the job of a secretary, after all.
Long ago, when Peter had first proposed to her, she d thought about children. She d
wondered whether their children would have red or brown hair, and she d daydreamed
possible names. When they d married and moved into the tiny cottage, she d worried if
there would be enough room for a family.
She had never worried about not having children.
The second year of the marriage, Anna had begun to watch her monthly flow. The third [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]