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never told you this, but I didn't go to my senior prom."
"You didn't? But the way you always talk about it ..."
"I helped plan it and counted down the days ever since I was a freshman, but I was
already five months' pregnant with you. Four
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days before the prom, the school found out. They thought I'd be a bad influence on the
other girls and expelled me. I received my diploma in the mail. I was so ashamed." Mom
picks at her chipped nail, making it even worse.
I do the mental math. "So this very day, eighteen years ago--"
"Yes," she cuts me off. "I don't want you to experience what I did. To feel like an
outcast."
"Sorry." I lower my head.
"For what?"
"For being born."
"No," she stops me. "I'm not sorry, and you should never be. I haven't told you enough
that I love you. I can't make it up to you; I know that. It was hard raising you alone but I
managed ... survived. But if there's something, anything I can do ..." Her voice fades out.
"There is."
Mom perks up.
"You can take me prom-dress shopping."
"I'd love that," she squeals.
Rob bumbles into the kitchen in his bathrobe. "Tere, I just got a call from the station.
The phones were ringing off the hook last night. They loved it. The winner. 'Moon
Shine'?"
My eyes light up. "'The Moon Stops for You.' It's awesome."
Rob sets the newspaper down, onto the table and glances over at Mom. A stray tear
slides down her cheek. "Did I come down at a bad time?"
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I'm compelled to answer for the both of us. "No, it's a good time."
"Really?" Rob takes a step back. "Could've fooled me."
"Tears aren't always bad. You know us girls." Mom sniffles.
"No, I don't. That's the problem." Rob laughs.
"Mom's taking me dress shopping today." I steal the inserts from Rob's paper, hoping to
find some cool clothing ads.
I scan through a few of the pages, then head up to my room to shower. I'm having
second thoughts about going shopping with just Mom so I call Audrey for backup.
"Hey, Aud." I fling open my closet door. "Remember how you said I should hurry up and
find a dress for the prom?"
"Yeah, that was over three weeks ago."
"Okay, well, I'm ready now." I walk into my closet and stare at my rows of sneakers.
"Why now?"
"I picked the winner last night. He's amazing." Ispy an old pair of black wedge sandals
and dust them off. "You met him?" Her voice rises an octave. "No, just his voice."
"What kind of song did he send in?"
"Oh, it's awesome. It's called 'The Moon Stops for You,' and it's so romantic. I almost
cried." I cradle the shoes. "Wow."
"I'm in love already." I laugh. "Whoa, what happened to Gavin?"
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"Nothing." I sit down on the carpet and try the sandals on. "I love him, too."
"You're crazy." She laughs. "So you want to go to the mall?"
"Yeah. My mom wants to take me, but I'd like you to come, too. Safety in numbers."
"Your mom? That's good. You guys made up, then?"
"I guess. She apologized." I pace around my room in the wedges. They pinch my baby
toes. I kick them off.
"Then what's wrong?"
I rub my feet. "I don't know. It's weird. She was so emotional. I've never seen her like
that before. What if she does an about-face?"
"Give her a chance. People can change, you know."
"True, I just don't want to ... get hurt." I mumble the last part.
"Take it one step at a time," Audrey offers.
"Hmmm." I'm not too convinced.
"First, let's find you the perfect dress."
"Okay, I can handle that. We'll pick you up in a little while." I hang up the phone before I
change my mind.
"I thought we'd start at the Aventura Mall." Mom checks her lipstick in the mirror before
she cranks up the car. "Sure." I nod.
Mom reaches for the radio dial. "Mind if we listen to SLAM?" I ask.
"No, go ahead." Mom lets me take over. "So, I was thinking
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of a halter dress for you. Maybe coral or red."
"I guess." I roll my eyes. "Can we wait until we get there? Until I see what jumps out at
me?"
"Sure." She pulls at a loose strand of hair poking out of her ponytail.
We pull up to Audrey's Casa de la Selva. We call it that because they have so many
overgrown trees surrounding their property that you'd half expect jungle animals to
jump out at you any minute. My favorites are the mangos. The fruit is juicy, and Audrey
and her mom make the best mango bread. Audrey's waiting for us on the front steps.
She climbs in to the backseat. "Hi, Delilah. Hi, Tere."
I fill Audrey in on where we're going, and we hit the expressway. It's already after eleven
and all the primo spots are taken, so we park toward the end of the mall lot. I'm
nervous. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten breakfast. That could've probably saved me a
whole two pounds.
We hit Macy's first. Mom tries her best not to hover, staying a few feet away from us.
"What about this one?" Audrey holds up an eye-straining pattern of swirled yellows and
oranges.
"Not." I make a gagging sound.
"Be daring." She pulls out a bright-green silky one that looks perfect for the Victoria's
Secret runway show.
A stick-skinny girl with platinum-blond hair is ogling over the same one.
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"I'm going to the prom with a complete stranger. Isn't that daring enough?"
Audrey doesn't say a word. She knows it's true.
I pull four blacks off the rack and a turquoise dress just to add a little color. Mom throws
in two red dresses, and we parade to the dressing room. I've never had an entourage
before. It's usually me following Mom or Audrey around. Being the leader is pretty neat.
I need some breathing room, so I make them sit outside.
I try on one of the red dresses that Mom suggested first. It makes my boobs look like
stuffed sausages. Not a pretty sight. I rip it off and throw on a long black dress next. I
like the way the bottom of the dress dusts the tops of my feet.
I open up the stall and walk toward Mom and Audrey.
I put my hands on my hips. "Well?"
"It's nice." Audrey looks me up and down.
"Too safe," Mom says.
Audrey bites her lip. "I'd have to agree with your mom. It's not doing anything for you."
"Okay." I turn around and climb back into my box. Stuffed Sausage is out. Safe is out. I
rummage through the pile of dresses. There's got to be something wow in here.
I try on a couple more black numbers, but they're too everyday. I realize I'm tired of
being blah. I reach for the shiny turquoise one. I zip it up and stare into the full-length
mirror.
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